"stop look at my tits, sir," Charles Bukowski
Big Bart was the wildest guy in the West. He had the fastest gun in the West, and had fucked wider range of women than any other guy in the West. He was not fond of bathing, or the bull shit, nor discuss, nor to be a second son. He was also guide a caravan of emigrants, and there was another man of his age who had killed more Indians or fucked more women or more men killed whites.
Big Bart was a big guy and he knew it and everybody knew it. Even his farts were exceptional, louder than the dinner bell, and was also very well equipped, a large handle is always stiff and infernal. His duty was to take the carts through the bush unharmed, fornicate with the women, kill a few men, and then back east to the other caravan. He had a black beard, a dirty hole in the nose, and a radiant yellow teeth.
had just shove the young wife of Billy Joe, the hell was taking a hammer to cock while Billy Joe forced to watch. Forced the girl to talk to her husband while doing so. Forced him to say
- Ah, Billy Joe, all this stick, the turkey neck through me from the hell into the throat, I can not breathe, I drown! Save me, Billy Joe! No, Billy Joe, do not save me! Aaah!
After Big Bart run, Billy Joe made him wash the parts and then came together to enjoy a splendid meal of bacon, beans and biscuits.
next day they found a lone wagon crossed the meadow on their own. A skinny boy of about sixteen, with an acne bad thing, took the reins. Big Bart went riding.
- Hey, kid! "He said.
The boy did not answer.
"I'm talking about, kid ...
-Suck my ass, "said the boy.
"I'm Big Bart.
-Suck my ass.
- What's your name, son?
"They call me 'El Niño'.
"Look, Child, there is no way that a man passing through these pastures with one cart.
"I intend to do.
"Well, are your balls, boy," said Big Bart, and prepared to turn his horse, when they opened the curtains of the wagon and the little woman appeared with amazing breasts, a nice big ass and eyes like the sky after rain. He directed his gaze to Big Bart, and the turkey neck was hit hard and lathe saddle.
"For your own sake, child, come with us.
"Fuck you in the ass, man," said the boy. I ignore warnings follamadres old with dirty underwear.
"I killed people just because I disliked her eyes.
El Niño spat on the floor. Then he stood up and scratched his balls.
"Look, old, I get bored. Now out of my sight or I'll become a Swiss cheese cake.
-Child, "the girl leaning over him, sticking out and making a tit hot sun. Child, I think this man is right. We have no chance against these scumbags of Indians if we are alone. Do not be a jerk. Tell this man who will join them.
"We will unite," said Child.
- How's your girl? Big Bart asked.
Honey-Dew, "said Child.
"And let's look at my tits, sir," said Honey-Dew or I'll knock the shit out of hosts.
Things went well for a while. There was a skirmish with Indians Blueball Canyon. 37 Indians killed, one prisoner. No U.S. casualties. Big Bart put a ring through its nose ...
was obvious that Big Bart is put hot with Honey Dew. Could not take his eyes off her. That ass, almost all because of that ass. After looking at his horse fell and one of the Indian cooks laughed. He was one Indian cook.
One day Big Bart sent the boy with a hunting party to kill some buffalo. Big Bart waited until he disappeared from sight and then went to the wagon of the Child. Climbed the saddle, pulled back the curtain and entered. Honey Dew was lying in the center of the wagon masturbating.
Christ, baby, "said Big Bart. Do not waste it!
"Get out of here," said Honey Dew getting the finger pointed at her pussy and Big Bart. Pouring milk out of here and let me do my thing!
- Your man do not care enough, Honey Dew!
"Of course I care, asshole, I have just not enough. All that happens is that after the time I get in heat.
"Listen, baby ...
- May give you the ass!
"Listen, baby, provides ...
Then he took the big hammer. It was purple, descapullado, infernal, and swing from side to side like the pendulum of a grandfather clock. Lubricating drops of semen fell to the ground. Honey Dew
could not take his eyes off such an instrument. After a while
said
- You're not gonna get that damn thing in!
"Say it like you really feel it, Honey Dew.
- YOU WILL NOT get me ANYTHING WITHIN THAT DOOMED!
- But why? Why? Look at her!
- The I looking!
- But why do not you want?
"Because I'm in love with the Child.
- Love? Big Bart said, laughing. Love? That's a tale for fools! Watch this damn stick! Love can kill at any time!
"I love the Child, Big Bart.
"And there's my tongue," said Big Bart. The best language of the West!
took it out and did gymnastics with her.
"I love the kid," said Honey Dew.
"Well, fuck you," said Big Bart and began jumping above it. It was a work of dogs get all that stuff, and when he did, Honey Dew screamed. He had about seven caderazos between the thighs of the girl, when he was dragged roughly backwards.
WAS THE CHILD BACK IN THE GAME HUNTING.
"You brought your buffalo, motherfucker. Now, if you get on your pants and go outside, we will arrange the rest ...
"I'm the fastest gun in the West," said Big Bart.
"I'll make a hole so large that the eye of your ass look like just a skin pore," said Child. Come on, get it over with. I'm hungry and dinner. Buffalo hunting whets your appetite ...
The men sat around the camp fire, watching. There was a tense vibration in the air. The women remained in the wagons, praying, masturbating and drinking gin. Big Bart had 34 notches on his gun, and a hellish fame. El Niño had no notch in his gun, but he had confidence in himself that Big Bart had never seen in his other opponents. Big Bart seemed the most nervous of the two. He took a swig of whiskey, drinking half the bottle, and then walked towards the Child.
"Look, Child ...
- Yes, bastard ...?
"Look, I say, why do you goats?
- I'll fly balls, man!
- But why?
- You were screwing around with my wife, man!
"Listen, child, do you not see? Women play with a guy after another. We're just victims of the same game.
I do not want to hear your shit, Dad. Now walk away and get ready to take out!
-Child ...
- Stay away and ready to fire!
The men in the field of fire rose. A light breeze came from the West smelling horse shit. Someone coughed. Women huddled in carts, drinking gin, praying and masturbating. The twilight fell.
Big Bart and Child were 30 paces apart.
-Draw your shit dry, "said the boy, strafe, old shit, dirty lustful.
Slowly, through the curtains of a cart, a woman appeared with a rifle. It was Honey Dew. He put the rifle on his shoulder and supported him in a barrel.
"Come on, cuckold rapist," said Child. REMOVABLE!
Big Bart's hand dropped to his revolver. A shot rang out cutting the twilight. Honey Dew lowered his smoking gun and again to get into the wagon. The child was dead on the floor, with a hole in the neck. Big Bart holstered his gun and walked without using the cart. The moon was already high. Story
included in "Looking for a woman" (Anagram)